- Two bats were hanging upside down on a branch.
One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst
day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day
I had diarrhea!"
By LadyD.
- Two dog owners are arguing over whose dog is
the cleverest.
‘My dog is so smart’, says the first owner, ‘that
every morning he waits for the paper boy to
come round. He tips the boy and then brings the
newspaper to me, along with my morning cup of
coffee.’
‘I know,’ says the second owner.
‘How do you know?’
‘My dog told me.
- An adorable little girl walked into my pet shop
and asked, ‘Excuse me, do you sell rabbits?’
‘Yes,’ I answered, and leaning down to her eye
level I asked,
‘Would you like a white rabbit or would you
prefer to have a soft, fluffy black rabbit?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t think my python really
cares.
- One of the highlights of the biology course at my
university was the monthly feeding of a caged
rattlesnake kept in the laboratory. One time, the
entire class gathered around the cage and, in
complete silence, watched as the feeding took
place.
‘I’m jealous of the snake,’ the instructor said. ‘I never get the class’s undivided attention like this.’
A student answered as a matter-of-fact, ‘You would if you could swallow a rat.
- Three farmers chat. The first one tells:
- I have grown such a big apple that when I put it on a chair, it broke down.
The other one:
-I grown an even bigger apple - when I put it on a table, it broke.
The rest one says:
-I grown an extremely big apple. I put it in a carriage.
The two farmers interrupt:
-Di it break???? -No, a worm got out of it and ate the horse!
- A wolf and a rabbit are traveling by train. The
rabbit is lying on the bed below, and the wolf -
on the one above. Suddenly goes a big bang!!!
Rabbit asks:
- What has fallen down?
- My shirt, - replies wolf
- Why so loud than?
- I did not take them off.
